My Faustian Quest for the perfect SM moment

My Faustian Quest

Seeking the final, timeless moment, the perfect moment of satisfaction, the moment of complete and ulitimate fulfilment

The Faust allegorical legend has been retold in many forms including the medieval Faustbuch, Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus (1604/1616), Goethe’s Faust, (1775-1801) and Boito’s Mephistophele (1868), which is the opera playing in Batman Begins when Bruce Wayne to asks to leave, whereupon the confrontation with Joe Chill begins.

The crux of the Faust legend is that the devil makes a pact with Faust that the devil will act as Faust’s slave and assistant in his quest for satisfaction in life, specifically the final, timeless moment, the perfect moment of satisfaction, the moment of complete and ultimate fulfilment, after which Faust will gladly live no more. In return, Faust will be the devil’s eternal slave in the after life.

This has been termed the “Faustian Contract” and the “Faustian Quest”; to quote Boito’s version: “If thou wilt bring me one hour of peace, in which my soul may rest — if thou wilt unveil the world and myself before me — if I may find cause to say to some flying moment, ‘Stay, for thou art blissful’, then let me die, and let hell’s depths engulf me.”

I have no interest or belief in sorcery or devil worship: the question recently arose in discussion with a fellow bdsm slave, now in San Francisco, as to whether and how we had each experienced satisfaction in our own Faustian Quests.

Although I don't seriously believe that any Master I have been with can be accurately described as the devil, I can identify at least a few Faustian Moments that I have been fortunate enough to experience in my bdsmcp career so far:

Squaddie John’s Faustian Moments:

As an SM pony harnessed to pull my Master in a buggy at a meeting of “The Other Pony Club”.
A single-tail whipping at “The Mountain” after a night chained naked to the bare concrete floor of the isolation cell.
A two-hour workout in a gym in San Diego frequented by many off-base USMC and USN personnel, one of whom put me through my paces not knowing I was wearing a plug.
Returning dog-tired, knackered but happy, in dirty combat uniform on the S-bahn in former East Berlin after field training for three days and nights in the pine forests with a former fallschirmjäger and two others from the DDR army.
Singing in company army, para and Légion soldier songs from memory in the back of a restored WWII Normandy landings Jeep when were were all returning sore, wet and dirty from a Vagevuur SM military training night.
Also at “The Mountain”, a night sharing a cell with another slave, each naked but hooded with our hands cuffed to each other behind our backs.

My San Francisco bdsm slave mate (whom I mentioned earlier) suggested that his own Faustian Moment came at the end of a week on a farm where he had been working naked as a human draft animal, working by day on the farm and kept tethered at night in a barn.

As he writes:
slave John spoke of my “Faustian” moment as a draft horse on a farm many years ago. He described it very well. To elaborate a little more on that time the thing needs to say that it was fed a lot of carrots and got sugar cubes as a treat after doing “good” work. it lived in a stall in the barn when not being used, ate its meal from a horse feeding bag. it also was not allowed to pee or shit in any one place but was required to do those things as it was working. it was not allowed to stop while performing those functions but had to keep moving doing its hauling. it was given a “Mohawk” haircut and when being punished for sloppy work was required to have four horseshoes hanging from its nuts. it wore no clothing for the entire time it was on the farm except for a pair of old work boots to protect its feet. This was definitely the peak of its slavery.

A CP mate in London suggested his Faustian Moments have been his first “Cornwall Barracks” flogging in public (at a North American SM camp) and — another Faustian Moment — when he realised that a prison session that he had committed to was in fact a recreation of the “Mark goes to Jail” scenario described by SM author Morgan in More and Harder; the exact moment was when he realised that he was just being enfettered in the exact same handcuffs described by Morgan.

Another experienced London SM player writes as follows:
I read about "Faustian" moments with interest. Up to now I hadn't thought of my SM that way but it is an interesting concept. Without going into the endless "definitions" of one or the other I consider myself not to be a slave. For me a slave is one who wishes to be subservient, actively seeks humiliation, begs for abuse, sm, bondage whatever. I consider myself a sub. For all intents and purposes I seek much the same as a slave but mentally my approach is different. I am an "unwilling" victim.....to be restrained, abused, tortured, humiliated whatever...is to me something imposed "against my will". Of course the reality is that I seek this but look to be "broken" or "forced to serve" rather than craving it.
I suppose the nearest I have to come to such a Faustian moment concept was at a leather hotel in Amsterdam last year where I spent 48 hours enduring heavy bondage and sm. Although I had booked my own room I was meeting a top who was there with his partner and who (by agreement with me) had the keys to my room before I arrived. So on arrival and being shown to my room, he was waiting there for me. He had insisted that I arrive locked in a cb3000 and wearing white briefs, (obviously one of his interests as I had to purchase some specially), and within minutes I was stripped , hooded and bound for the duration. As the gag was inserted and I was securely restrained, I felt at the moment he left the room and locked the door that moment. I was now completely under his control and what happened or was going to happen over the next 48 hours was out of my control and I knew it was not all going to be "pleasure by the minute"! . Suffice to say overall it I was pleased to have endured those 48 hours but it would be untrue to say that every moment was pleasure or was easy. There were many moments when I wanted out but that was not possible or indeed what was going to happen or what I "signed up" for when I agreed to meet.

Perhaps not quite what you mean by a Faustian moment but the nearest I can think of just now.

For me it is axiomatic that a Faustian Moment should not be attempted to be repeated as it will surely disappoint the second time. However my own quest continues: see You Must Do This Before the Age of ... or You'll Always Regret It! and also my limits at Rough games.

› What was your Faustian Moment or what is your Quest? Get in touch now!

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